I’ve lost plenty of sleep throughout high school. From pulling all-nighters cramming for calculus to waking up at five a.m. for morning practice, I’ve become all too familiar with the existential dread that accompanies watching the sun rise on a random weekday. Naturally, in order to avoid falling asleep in class, during work or at eight p.m. on a Friday night, I’ve had to develop a strategy. A brilliant, foolproof strategy that’s taken an intense toll on my bank account: drink as much caffeine as possible.
Caffeine has been there for me through it all. Flowing through my veins during the most boring lectures, the most exhausting shifts and the most difficult exams, it’s served as my rock. For that reason, I’ve decided to pay homage to the five caffeinated beverages that I’ve ingested most frequently and with the most enjoyment for the past four years. I meticulously ranked based on flavor profile and caffeine content with the hopes that maybe some desperate future senior scrambling to write college applications, finish their AP coursework and stay on top of extracurriculars all at the same time will be inspired to push on. Here’s my final list:
5. Diet Coke (specifically from the ETHS vending machines)
What can I say: desperate times call for desperate measures. Though a can of Diet Coke contains a measly 46 milligrams of caffeine, it gets the job done. The crisp, refreshing taste makes up for what the caffeine content lacks, plus it’s easy to access during the school day. I’ve often indulged in a Diet Coke during my lunch block, when my sleeping habits (or lack thereof) usually catch up to me. It provides just enough of an energy boost for me to make it through the final class of the day with my eyes open and my spirits high, before returning home to crash.
4. Matcha
Don’t get me wrong; I love a good matcha latte (go try Backlot’s lavender matcha ASAP), but they don’t offer much caffeine. A matcha can contain anywhere between 60 and 90 milligrams, but its mood-brightening effects make up for that number. In the darkest of times (finals), I always find myself soothed by its beautiful, natural deep green color and its earthy, slightly bitter flavor. While I’m aware that many would disagree with me about the latter, I find that the bitterness aids in keeping me awake. Unfortunately, matcha is way too expensive to rely on as a consistent source of caffeine, which is another reason why my otherwise favorite drink is so low on this list.
3. Red Bull
I’m actually pretty sure Red Bulls contain the second most caffeine out of all of these drinks (111 milligrams in a 12 ounce can), but I deducted points for taste. Red Bull is disgusting. Imagine a mixture of cough syrup and something akin to battery acid slowly creeping its way down your throat. Blech. It’s also super sugary, which sometimes exacerbates the post-caffeine crash. However, it’s cheap and sold everywhere, and the caffeine content is perfect. Not too much, but enough for a buzz that lasts all day.
2. Coffee
A classic. The classic. I actually didn’t like the taste of coffee until a few years ago, but I’ve grown to adore it. I love its simplicity; it provides a blank canvas for an array of different flavors and is equally satisfying on its own. One cup of black coffee typically contains at least 95 milligrams of caffeine, meeting Red Bull in the just-enough range. Coffee is truly the perfect everyday beverage; I drink lattes, mochas, Americanos and everything in between, and I never seem to get sick of it. The routine of stepping into a bustling, warm, beautifully decorated coffee shop (again, shameless Backlot plug) only enhances the experience, demonstrating coffee’s general superiority.
1. Celsius
Coming in at first, with a whopping 200 milligrams of caffeine per 12 ounce can, is Celsius. I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right. Nobody should be ingesting 200 milligrams of caffeine in one sitting, especially not on the regular. So why rank it at number one? Because, while it might be borderline dangerous, it works. Celsius has carried me through many exams with trembling hands and a pounding heart and is always reliable for study emergencies. Not only do most Celsius flavors taste great (albeit artificial), but there’s also a massive variety to choose from. My personal favorite is the Peach Mango and Green Tea, but make sure you drink it slowly- you need to be alive in order to ace all your exams.
