“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing is to end up with people who make you feel alone.”The quote comes from Good Will Hunting, where Robin Williams, playing therapist Sean Maguire, says it to Will during a quiet, emotionally heavy conversation.
As the school year begins, that line feels especially relevant. Every August, there is this subtle pressure to figure out your group right away—to have people to sit with at lunch, walk with between classes, and hang out with after school. Some people fall into that quickly, and that’s great, but when finding friends becomes something you feel like you have to rush, it can lead you into groups or spaces that never really feel right.
Your friends impact how you think, what you care about, how you carry yourself, and how comfortable you feel in your own skin. That impact can feel subtle in the moment, but over time, it shapes who you become. They are there during the fun times, the hard times, the late-night drives, the awkward conversations, and everything in between. By no means is this article saying you need a huge group or a picture-perfect circle of friends. Take your time finding your people, and do not stress if it takes a while. Not everything is as glamorous as it may look on Instagram. In fact, research has shown that close friendships can lower stress and even improve physical health, making them just as important for your well-being as they are for fun.
Friends are supposed to be fun, but they are more important than just a good time. They are the people who support you, who keep you in check if you are being arrogant, and who walk alongside you as you figure things out.
And to that point, when you enter high school, you’re still figuring so much out. High school is a time when you will try new things, meet people with different views and change your mind about stuff you used to be sure of. When we think about the times we have grown the most, it often happens in random conversations with my friends. Some of them are serious, but so many of my best conversations have come in the most casual settings.
It is completely normal if finding the right people takes time. Some of the best friendships start in unexpected places—maybe a random seating chart, a partner in class, or someone you simply bump into in the halls. Be open to different people and willing to be friends with a variety of different types of people. Surrounding yourself with people who have different interests and perspectives helps you grow in the long run.
You might also grow apart from people you used to feel close to, and that is okay too. You should not cut people off for clout or social status, but you also do not need to stay in friendships that no longer feel right. People change and grow in different directions. It may be difficult and awkward, but it is a part of life.
Remember, the worst kind of loneliness is not sitting by yourself. It is being surrounded by people who make you feel like you are. So as you head into this school year, remind yourself that it is ok to outgrow certain relationships as you learn more about who you are as an individual. Prioritize genuine connections and fill your circle that will truly see and support you.
